I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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