I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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