Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
