It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
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