Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
