All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
