Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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