Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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