I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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