I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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