Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
