Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
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What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
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I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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