I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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