Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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