Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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