dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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