It's like God shit irony all over that family
I've blown a few things in my day
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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