Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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