Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I'm always down for nudity.
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