So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
