I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
