I didn't shave. On purpose
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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