respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
