I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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