Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
