Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
