Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
