You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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