The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
