More tranny stories later!
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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