Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
