my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
