I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
