girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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