i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
