small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
The beer is more important than you right now.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
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They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
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Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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