i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
