Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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