Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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