I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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