No awkward lesbian experiences without me
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
