I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
