A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize