how can u be prego again
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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