I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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