yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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