Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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