I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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