know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
