Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Randomize
