What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
never play flip cup with pint glasses
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
