how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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