I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
