there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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