My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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