At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
