last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You are a genius and a whore.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
