He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
