i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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