I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
