i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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