i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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