I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
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