i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
