EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
