today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
